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Jonsing Well, I phoned the eldercare place and they still want to hire me but the background check isn't back. I have nothing to hide, but I'm jonsing like hell for a smoke, especially when it's my period and I'm all super bitchy. And I know I can't ask them whether they'll drug test me, but part of me wants to buy one of those kits from CVS and see if I'm clean. If I am, maybe I can save my urine for next week and toke up tonight. I know I'm going to Friday night if they don't call me in before then. That will give me at least 48 hours to reclean if necessary, though I know I should just suck it up and stay clean. It just sucks when all your friends are potheads and you're REALLY trying to get a normal job. Some good things are happening through the PMS though. I'm getting some offers for work. Nothing big, but Dirty wants me to work their Feb show and Rockwood wants me to do some comedy stuff for their porn CD. I'm also getting escort offers, which I'm debating about taking. My money grubber who doesn't want to give up pot wants to go back to that lifestyle, but my inner nerd knows that I probably shouldn't. I've decided to be surruptitious about it and check everyone's references. If it works out, great, if not, no big deal. I still need to write a column for the paper over the next week, and I think Snapshots should be ready for readers by Monday, depending on how long the next few scenes take. I'm trying to keep some stuff out of it due to length, but it's hard to cut things. I'm also half tempted to use my last canvas sometime soon too, at least it will get me out of my funk. Gaaa! I don't know if getting a real job is worth all this stress. I want to move to Canada. I bet they don't drug test there. Besides, I don't go into work stoned. I just want to relax when I'm at home. Why can't we just legalize this shit and move on? Prosecute some rapists or something. I should go back to my house. I'm in PMS hell and shouldn't inflict this on others. Back to bed... Daphne |