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Can a fat girl make it after all? All right...for all of you lovely people that want it...I will become a lovely Phone-a-Friend just for you. All you gotta go is send me your phone number and a time range in which to call (adjusted for Eastern Standard as I live in michigan). I will phone ya within a few days of recieving the email under the guidelines that: 1) you do not pressure me for phonesex if I am not in the mood 2) you either phone me back or let me call you collect if my bills get too high In other news, I got a reply to my inquiry on the location in Delaware Ohio and the tour director told me that the 2/11 date will actually be held IN MICHIGAN!!! She said she would get me the info asap but she did not mention a city as of yet. I doubt it will be held far upstate, at least I hope not, but this is practically an omen saying Thou Shalt Meet Carol Leigh and Thy Life Shall Change Forever. Ok, maybe not but cut me some slack. I was up with caffinne induced insomnia last night where I got to thinking about everything. Then I smoked and drank some Ny-quil and it still took me until about 2am to sleep. grr...well at least all I have to do today is work. Dan's cumming over too and I am gonna get laid! yay!! the pussy is finally back up and running (like the leaky faucet it is) and I couldn't be happier. I hate when it is ill or overworked because then I can't have any fun. I watched Annabel Chong's documentary recently and I pretty sure that I couldn't handle 251 men. It would probably do some complete and utter damage to myself, but part of me still wants to try. We'll see how things go in normal porn. eeee!!! Carol Leigh is coming to Michigan and maybe I can get a job working for her and learn about how she made her porn company work!! *sorry* I have been reading Body Wars and Big Fat Lies for anorexia class recently and I am debating more heavily with myself about getting liposuction. part of me sees it as neccessary to the business but another part of me really doesn't want to do it. I read the lifetime risks with it, in addition the immediate risks, which are worse health because even though you take the fat off in certain places the body tends to find other places to store fat. This means that even with surgery I will probably gain the fat back if I am not exercising, whch is hard to do right after a major surgery. So I am debating about attempting to use my real body to sell myself. I figured that I would have to do that for awhile regardless to raise money but now I am considering doing it for political reasons. Maybe if I work with this body, this real slightly heavier than the ideal body, I can show women that any body type can be sexy. Porn is quite good at showing all types of bodies but overall it focuses on the youthful and lean ones because those follow fashion. I am not overweight or going into chubby movies, but I think that perhaps I should sell my real self rather than go under the knife for body work that may result in worse health than if I had let myself alone. These arguments are similar to ones I make on coming out. For some odd reason, I am quite shy about outing myself as a sex worker in the academic community. In fact, I keep debating about exactly when I am going to use my real name instead of my alias, when I make enough money to feel secure or after my father dies. Part of me thinks that I might just continue using both names until my death, Daphne for work and my given name for intellectual material, kind of like Scarlot Harlot. I am not sure how exactly I will work out this balance or determine who and where to come out but I am sure that with time I will be able to understand the implications of both identities. Think about for me, would ya? Daphne |