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Denial Late morning all, I am proud. I have kept up with the thesis. Problems still arise though because I am getting close to that 40 page start and I am still not halfway through the thing. I will send what I have to my advisor and apologize that it is so long. Editing in the New Year I guess...well, at least I got a good chunk done over break and I will keep working on it at the same pace until I finish the draft...which I hope will be soon. Not much went on yesterday. Not much at all. I broke the PID thing to my mother and cried on her shoulder. She was wonderful about the whole matter and told me that everything would be okay. I got another email from W asking if we could be friends and I told her about Spk not being sexually attracted to her but he wouldn't be mean to her and that I still wanted to play with her and be friends. I offered to hang out with her sometime next week for coffee or something to make her feel a bit better. I know she feels shameful for all of this but it's not her complete fault for picking an asshole that wanted to use her for access to other women. He says he loves her but he isn't sticking around to nurse her to health or take care of his own and she's smart enough to know that he doesn't want to be with her out of love, just to fuck other women. This is a question I face when thinking about Spk from time to time but I know that he does love me because he is willing to work through these problems and scares with me, not run off to the neighbor woman and leave me crying on my own. I really hope that she doesn't get too depressed and that I can be there for her. I told her that Spk would be friends with her still too, even if he didn't want to have sex with her, similar to how he tolerates D in my life. She's a sweet girl so I want to help her. I am going to get things checked out though, just need to compile the dates of what happened when. Write down everything I have been feeling and account for Spk's flu. I am going to try and go to the free clinic up here and see if they can check me out. If they need to run tests though I will have to wait until I go back south. My period appears to have stopped early and I have had a bout of the runs but nothing serious other than that yeast infection has occured. So, I guess I am still in denial but I will see the doctors when I can and no fun until then. In happier news, mom took me shopping again yesterday and that was the highlight of the day. She has cut me off after that. I bought three very sexy mesh bras with lace, a hairdryer which has helped my new do, some mousse which I haven't quite figured out correctly yet, and the basics of shampoo and lipstick. Not much but enough. I needed bras especially so I am glad that I found some sexy ones to show off. Anyway, going to work on my Zelda game. See if I can beat that guy again...grr. Daphne |