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out of line again ok I have half an hour and I thought that I was going to work on my paper this morning but I decided to sleep in to 5:30 and blew that off. I swear though I will stop drinking and smoking when I get home today and finish it up. I am about a third of the way through when I was having some good chats with couples online that I gave up. I know that they should be talking to spk more because he has more free time but lately he has been out playing out playing on the boat and I kind of enjoy lurking in chat rooms and such. need to end the week of slacking soon though. got to read a big book and work with my advisor soon. anyway, yesterday's news mostly consists of me being a dumbass. an angry dumbass. a dumbass who doesn't think but goes off on her boss. yeah. pretty dumb. did in front of a user too. not good. not good at all. in my defense however, my big boss reminds me a lot of my father and he hit an instinctual trigger for me that I respond to with yelling. bad idea but I know that is what it was. I was trying to give directions to the Frieze building to someone at work so I was asking if he knew where MLB was, you know, I tend to think that if people know basic orientation it's easier for them to think out directions. well, after a few interchanges my boss leaps in with "boot him up a map, he obviously doesn't understand you!" of course, this is like ten minutes after he tells me that my work is so good that I should learn to let it stand on my own but also that I will probably be working through august. and I lose it. Bamn! "ok fine!" angry map pops up, still explaining and then the damn fat assed receptionist chick has to chime in with "frieze is on washington near huron isn't it?" and I turn around, totally peeved now. "Can I answer one question on my own? thanks!" and she shuts her door and runs away. honestly, I felt like I was two. once the guy left the boss reamed both the little boss and myself out claiming that we have been rude as all hell these past few weeks, which aside from some small lack of questionings and this incident we haven't been, and that our communication and interpersonal skills suck. He says we treat people like idiots, umm well most of them ARE and he does the same thing to clients and coworkers alike, and I tried to tell him that is how we feel working with him but my little boss was just kind of being quiet and hiding. once the big boss finished his lecture I ran out and did some laps around the university so that I wouldn't return screaming, yeah I know it was my fault for yelling at him but he is such a hypocrite, and I decided that I am just not going to talk anymore at work to him. at least nothing beyond simple perfunctory stuff. I should start working on my outer work facade anyway. I have been lax in attempting to be super pleasent and idiotic and extremely helpful like any good female worker should be, and instead have been myself. as always myself sucks. oh fucking well. It is only a school job anyway and although I would like a reference from the place at least now my boss can see that it is driving me insane to be working there. I miss my other department. Blondie was a bitch but at least I could avoid her. I hate working with people in a close environment, it fucking sucks. and yeah, I have behavioral problems...oh well. anyway, that was my rant for yesterday. today we are off to the tubes again. wish me luck to survive, only eight more hours! Daphne |