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Independence....maybe? God is having fun. While I'm having my period, he is sending more traffic to my email about that ad I didn't ping than I've seen in the last few weeks. I don't know why, but he is. I think he's just getting his usual jollies. Up in heaven God is doing the ultimate ROTFLMAO. Glad I'm making someone happy these days. Yeah, we're back to trying the independence/space thing again. I don't know if it will work, but I should give it a shot. Dan has been noticing how bored and old I've been feeling lately, so he's encouraging me to try it again. I know I need to get out and make some friends so he won't be my whole social life, but it's hard. I'm not a bar scene person and the internet is driving me crazy, though I have met a nice girl or two from a site rather recently. So, I've got to find a club or two to join so I have more social activities. I've also got to re learn how to live on my own, because I feel so alone when I'm at my house these days. I'm usually fine during the day, used to working there, but after 8pm when there's no good TV on and I have the place to myself, I feel alone and empty. Thoughts come up and things haunt me. I'm not used to some of the noises still, and I get really paranoid all by myself. I also don't like sleeping alone, though the whole blanket advantage is nice. But I need to learn independence. Moving from father to college to man doesn't leave me time to test myself. I need to know that I can have a fun life on my own with Dan as part of that life. Socially, I've glommed onto him too much because I'm just so unsure of myself out in the real world. Honestly, I just don't know how people meet people they become friends with other than through work or school. Not having a normal either of those (escorts not making the best friends sometimes), I have to find another method. I've been juggling the idea of joining a bookclub or something dorky like that, maybe I can get my new dorky girl friend to join too, so maybe I should just get out and do it. People just insult each other subtly nowadays, they don't bite. So, for the next couple of days I'm on my own. Tonight will probably be a night off, and tomorrow is this all girl party. Though I'm having my period, I was encouraged to attend, so maybe I'll meet someone nice. I want to check out the scene as I think it might be a BBW group, which won't help. They're holding a couples party sometime in future, so if there are a few hotties in there I'll take Dan. If not, then I'll probably back away from the environment, though the idea of a lessie party is a hot one. Will give you a field report Saturday morning while Dan's fixing his car. Fun adventures await! Definately going to Windsor's casino next week though. If anyone wants to say hi on the other side, lemme know. I don't go to Canada often. Daphne |