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My Childfree Stance (do not read if you like kids) I feel a bit shitty, but I have an hour left of my day so I guess I'll update. By the way, it's nobody's fault but nature's that I feel shitty. I'm having my period, which I'm glad about because I nearly panicked thinking that I might be pregnant (damn day late cycle), and that generally just makes me want to rest and do nothing, especially when I have no drugs. Arggghh... I almost might have a semi-normal job though. I wandered across the street to ask about their test driving positions and ended up with a possible data entry thing. It's not set in stone, still has to be formally approved, but the lady who interviewed me liked me and noticed that I was overqualified to be a driver (that and I was unwilling to drive weekend shifts due to my impending "marriage"). Long story short, after offering some monthly temp work to me in various cities across the nation (yes, if I was single I would go live in Alaska/Arizona/Alabama for 2-3 months during the winter!), we decided that I might be of use in the office due to my data entry skills. So, if it works out, I will be working 7am to 10am shifts inputting driver reports on the various fleet vehicles. My interviewer liked that idea because it takes some work off of her back and it gives me a little more spending money without any difficult work. I did have to explain though that I'm independent contractor for a bunch of people so although I can work 40 hours a week, I would perfer to have a flex time situation where I could do everything I need to do without upsetting anyone. So, semi-hopefully, I might have a realish job. In other news, I've been reading Why Don't You Have Kids? and I think that I might try to join a local Childfree Network. I was browsing online and found some tubaligation testimonies that show the possibility of my being able to obtain one before age 30. Most places won't do it before then, especially if you don't already have squalling brats, but perhaps with some pressure I can make it work. I probably can't afford it, but I've always wanted one. I know, it sounds weird, but I've never wanted children, espeically biological ones. I can't stand the idea of childbirth and I know I would be unable to go through with it. Part of me does want a daughter down the line, but I think I'd rather adopt an older kid out of foster care to improve their life instead of having one of my own. For many years I was also a proponent of Zero Population Growth, which I think impacts my decision even more, though personally I can't stand kids so I wouldn't have them regardless. I'd rather just have myself, no matter how selfish that sounds. Anyway, in the book Lafayette makes several points about this choice that I really like. I'm also pretty glad I picked it up because it gives some advice on how to answer people who constantly ask why I don't have kids. My usual answer is that I'm 22! I'm waaaay too young for kids! This doesn't satisfy people though. Most swingers tend to have kids, as does most of the population in general, so I often feel odd on the few occasions that people ask why I don't have or want any. To be honest though, I don't like kids. I mean, I like kids, but only when they're other people's and I don't have to put up with the downsides. I don't want to do the early morning feedings, the late night worrying, or change the diapers. I just want to have someone fun to play with now and again. So, I limit my interactions with kids to other people's and babysitting. Whenever my estrogen gets the best of me, I offer to babysit so I get a good reminder on why I don't want kids and the parents get a little break. It works out for both of us. I also like her critique of the fact that we're overriding adult rights to give kids more rights. A case in point is adult only apartment complexs. Apparently, they used to exist at one time! Now, it's considered discrimination to ban families from such sites. Kids are also allowed into R rated movies, first class resteraunts, and generally everywhere with their parents. Now, I came from a family where unless I was able to behave in public, I was not taken into public. I honestly wish more parents would consider this today. Yeah, you're hard working and need a break, but either hire a sitter or teach your brats to behave! The rest of us don't need to hear your kids screaming while we're trying to enjoy ourselves. If they're not ready to behave, don't force them on the rest of the world. We'd just appreciate that, especially those of us hostile people who will go up to you and rudely tell you "Can you please get that moronic spawn of yours to shut the hell up before I start beating him myself?". Trust me, I'm ruthless. Another good actual example of this is when Dan and I went into a diner where the smoking section wasn't properly labeled and I guess we ended up in non-smoking somehow (we sat ourselves). We had a nice meal but at the end of it this guy from the table across from us goes up to Dan and says "You know, my wife is pregnant and you disgust me for smoking in front of her." Okay, well 1) your wife ain't "showing" buddy and 2) isn't that your and your wife's repsonsibility to move away from harmful things? not sit there all dinner chatting like nothing is going on. Long story short, I got pissed and the only good retort I had at the time was "Well, I hope your baby fucking dies then!" Once home, I came up with the better "Hey buddy, it ain't my fault you got your bitch knocked up!" I totally plan to use that if the situation ever arises again, and this woman didn't even have the kid yet! They were just 'tudy because supposedly she was pregnant, though she really didn't look it. I should get off my high horse for today though and see if I can at least outline the sign needed to finish my painting. I've been pretty listless about that these past few days. I know I want to finish it, I just don't feel right about it though. Part of me blames the Michigan weather as it's fall and everything is turning shitty. There's no sun coming through my windows and everything is going gray. I assure you California people, it's very depressing. Daphne |