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I HATE MYSELF Well, I was going to have a joyful entry with pics of me in my boy boxers with my wicked cameltoe, but I think I will leave those for tomorrow as I am extremely unjoyful right now. Yeah, once again, I've hit a bad patch of luck. NY is cancelled. No return emails. No word. Nothing. The hotel is cancelled, and I'm trying to get through to Northwest via phone. I don't trust the online refunds worth a damn, I want a person to talk to. In addition to feeling horribly shitty and rejected, more so because they don't even have the balls to tell me they don't want me, I also hit Dan's neighbor's car this morning. She's being cooler about it, but it's still going to be about a grand for a bribe. Ick. So the grand I was going to spend on vacation/work is now going to my neighbor to pay for her newish car that was her father's and is "the last thing I have to remember him by..." Yeah. And the accident was entirely my fault, hitting a car while backing up, so I can't not claim responsibility. I could have driven off, which did pass my mind, but I decided to be good about it and tell whoever's car it was. So I did. They took about ten minutes to get up and answer the door, only doing so when I threatened to drive off, but I did do the good karma thing. I admitted my shitty driving, which earned a snarky comment from her man who I thought liked us, and I'm willing to pay the damage to keep it away from the insurance company. It just sucks because that money is coming out of the newly dubbed Boob Fund, which may turn into the Jag Repair Fund if winter comes before Dan takes another crack at it. Oh yeah, of course my car isn't damaged. Somehow the Jag always manages to walk away clean after nicking someone. Part of me would rather I hit something and have me crumple (less expensive) but at least I'll be safe in a collision. God this sucks. (suicidal thoughts) Bleh. So, yeah, I'm pretty down right now. I have a plan to work for Arborgirls and get some more amateur stuff under my belt in hopes to raise some money, but I can't keep spending it like I have. I'm too paranoid to keep escorting so I hoped this would be my way out. It isn't. I'm somehow having Dan's luck with the world, everything is my fault. I shouldn't be so down about it, it's only money, but I'm more mad at myself for doing something so goddamn stupid on both counts. Arrrghhhh... I think that's it for my depression. Not for berating myself for another stupid expensive lesson though. I'll do that all damn day! Cause I'm a fucking moron! Dan, pretty please try and fix my car while we're on vacation. I'd pay you but I'm running out of money. Maybe business this week will be good. Daphne |