� Some Sites I like � I'm reading |
Oh a day of male assholes! Ugh. My two-hour once-a-week one-credit class is up for 5pm and I am getting high. I have had such a sucky day that I don't even want to associate with any more fucking human beings unless they are my partner Dan, although I will amend this if you are a supportive, rational, human being. Ugh. I got to watch part of a documentary on men's sexuality and how they see sex and upbringing for my dyke class. I am almost considering borrowing the tape over Spring Break for Dan to watch because it's pretty insightful. Do you boys really see sex as an add-on once you get emotionally intimate with someone? If so, this explain's men's need to have sex without the closeness in order to use it as closeness. I don't know if all that is true. It got me to thinking though that perhaps a drop in sex levels is normal in a committed relationship. I don't know. Dan and I had a nice weekend, don't get me wrong, but at times I get frustrated wanting sex and then not getting anywhere with it. It pisses me off. So now part me wonders if perhaps he isn't so lusty for me because we're close. It might be a reason. And then I wonder how you monogamous people have relationships. How do you guys out there stay fun and fresh in the sack? I got a lot of perversions, and luckily Dan and I are both game to many of the other's perversions, which could keep a normal hetero entertained (I guess) but somehow I cannot see a committed relationship working for very wrong. So I almost wonder if swinging, or at least dating other people, is neccessary to me being sexually happy. I understand that Dan and I haven't been partying heavily lately so maybe he's just bored with the sex. It happens to me too. I am just stressed so much that I don't want to go through the whole shit ya gotta go through to meet new people. I hate being fake, which I gotta be for almost anyone to deal with me, I hate being perky when I am really pissy, and I just hate the whole social interaction part of swinging. Sometimes I like it, but right now it bothers me. I don't really care about being anything more than friends with another couple, if that. Mostly I just want another woman and man to want us, have sex with us, and make us cum. I don't care about their personal lives or what is going on with their kids. I hate small talk. I just want to screw so why waste time? Anyway...I have no idea where I am going with this rant. Shit has just been making me think. Dan might also be pulling away because of the looming possibility that I will have to move away before he does. I will admit that sucks, and that's partly why I don't want to get into these extended meetings with people. I don't want to get any more attached. I love michigan, to a degree, but I feel like I might get stuck here and I REALLY don't want that to happen. Hoy! I am not sure where this is going. After that whole mental mix-up I got to argue against heterosexist white upper class male assholes as to why we need national health care. Ok, I didn't argue much. They pissed me off a lot and my classmates wanted to talk and I was probably too loud when I wanted to, so I didn't get to. Sucky. I wanted mostly to punch them in the face, even though I know that would not help anything. One guy, and he was white even though foreign, said he never had health care and he just pays as he goes. I retorted with "Have you ever been too sick to see a doctor because of money?" And he questioned me on assuming that he hadn't. Somehow, I am pretty sure he hadn't. Then of course I got to thinking about my Dad and I had to not cry and not kick this guy's ass. Of course, my prof had to talk past the hour, so I nearly lost it, but I didn't so his nose is all in one piece. for now. Please hope that the last class of the day doesn't suck so much ass. Either that or I will be too buzzed to notice. Daphne |