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PMS induced reflections PMS ridden day... Wet clothes still in the house, still drying, thanks for the mad ass drying rack Neighbor John, you are a true sweetie. Thanks too spk for reassuring me about last night. PMS makes things get blown out of proportion. Codi told me that my PMS is bigger than I thought it was. I must be horrible to those of you who are my friends, I apologize. Still feeling shitty though and I hope that the weather either stays like this or gets worse. After writing my first entry this morning and then deleting it when spk phoned, I discovered that I really haven't been right for awhile though. Been disliking sex with other people, been loving spk more platonically, been in a funk or semi-funk for a long time. I would like to attribute this to school but part of me I think is maturing, is realizing that sex for the sake of being merely deviant isn't the point of life. I think that this is why I was a bit shocked at J's cock sucking enthusiasm. She is me at an earlier time when it was fun to be a slut, fun to turn men on for no good reason, fun to engage in random drunken sex. Gosh, I think I grew up! Save me tinkerbell! But honestly, I think somewhere back here I still love sex and I still like playing the role of the slut but i see it a bit differently now. I see the responsibility behind it, the need for communication, and the fact that sex isn't the be all and end all of life. *sigh* but then I wonder, why am I in a relationship with one of the best swingers out there if I have such a balenced attitude towards sex? I mean, it must be holding him back for me to pour all of me energies into school at the moment and then crap on him with the PMS. I honestly don't know anymore. I got it going on though and I am figuring my shit out and trying to get a job so that is enough for right now. I am going to work to stop having these doubts and let myself go when I want to, and not a moment sooner. On a less depressing PMS note, can anyone tell me what green poop means? Am I missing or over some sort of chemical or mineral I need? Daphne |