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Crushes arghh... arrghhh yes I know I need to work but I just read through everyone else's diary and we are all having relationship connection problems it seems. if y'all weren't in several other parts of the country I would invite out for a night of drinking. just us dland bloggers who are debating the status of our relationships or our singlehood. amy-poetica and no-yes-maybe in particular. as for me, I spent half an hour with my TA working on my paper and I wish that it could have been longer but we went through it more than enough. I couldn't stop staring at her lips though and wanting to kiss her. It was insane but she was so cute and pretty and soft and vulnerable sounding, she has this way of acting very submissive and quiet, that just made me ache for her. She had to go though and I couldn't think of any other issues to raise about it so I had to let her. I am crying like mad now though because I know, like my other crushes right now, it will go unrequieted. *sigh* and that sucks. talked to the guy in American Culture that I was crushing on and he doesn't party and he doesn't eat meat and he's a devout Catholic, a good one. I feel like a horrible skank around him and he doesn't even know me so that's down the drain as well. as for Top Hat, been avoiding him. He stated that even if he wanted to date right now, which he doesn't, he wouldn't date me anyway due to my past slutty transgressions. He would be scared that I would sleep with anyone and not be loyal. I don't blame him but there is a really conservative part of me that wants to go back to normal again even if I know I realistically can't handle it. So it goes. He hasn't contacted me since he broke that to me nor I him and I have decided to let it stand that way. He is a wonderful friend but I need to get past my feelings and only distance will do it. Besides, I don't want to keep hanging around him if he doesn't want me there. And as for the girl in my class that I like...I don't think that will go anywhere either. I should ask her to coffee but I have a feeling it won't work. She seems really hetero and I feel like a pest sharing my research with her whenever I get excited about something. I deliberately sat next to her the last time but we didn't interact much. She was buried in her research. God I got to find some working lessie personals. I am going mad with real people and fake online people are turning me into a sociopath. I finally understand why my father hates the world it is getting too rough. sorry for the moodiness, y'all. It will pass. The loveliness of being bipolar is that you can run around with all of these emotions and be a wreck just for the hell of it. heck, why am I worrying...I am a single gal who lives alone. I don't even have a cat to upset. time to sit in my silk pants and red hoodie and dream about Miss Right...whereever the hell she is. Daphne |