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Frustration with my Mind and it's morning again at work. I decided that this isn't my week. It's a bad week not to be my week but it isn't so I should just accept it I guess. someone got to the blog by looking up limp dicks + pics and of course swappernet as always. anyway, physically i am not doing so good. I smashed my pinky yesterday while trying to turn a TV on the 4th floor of Angell in one of those tiny rooms during passing time when none of the students would get out of my way. It hurts mildly which is kind of fun because it doesn't hurt enough to be debilitating but just enough to be fun when I mess with it. and of course the scalp clot is still here and I need to buy better dandruff shampoo but I can't scrub my head as hard so that kind of sucks. and last night instead of working on my paper I slept. I tried writing in my paper journal and then I got tired at 7pm so I decided to take a nap. I got up with the alarm at 8:30pm, phoned spk because I really didn't feel like I could think much less work. I tried talking to him, and I am pretty sure that I was incoherant, but I couldn't understand much of what he said. eventually I got that he was welding or bending pipes or something and had to go so I let him even though I wanted to talk about other stuff. went back to sleep and probably slept a total of 10-12 hours. narcolepsy claimed me again. *sigh* So I swear that over the next two days I will turn this thing out. I have to. It is due in 6 days and if I am out at spk's I can't turn it in down here so I need to finish it before the weekend is up. blah. my theory is leaning towards the uppers because I also need to lose some weight (I have fears that I am gaining again) and maybe they will stave off the sickness that I feel is lurking around somewhere. hopefully the sleeping cured it, either that or I really do have a sleeping disorder. I don't know which it is. Part of me does wonder if I have adult ADD sometimes though and if I could get Ritilan without a Rx I would. Honestly, it could only help. gaa so enough getting down on myself. spk is heading over today and that should be fun. I plan to work on my paper before he heads over. I find that I work better when I have more shit to do. I think that perhaps I am getting lazy for lack of pressure. (I know that sounds odd because I have pressure everywhere as my cold sore attests and I do need to work on my thesis outline and study for my midterm too) Maybe I need more demanding pressure, who knows? something has to give though. dammit it sucks though that the only time that I am truly lucid and willing to work is in the mornings when I am stuck in here. and no, although I can occasionally read at work writing at work is out of the question. although I can do comics! look for them soon. I need to start scanning them. I make no pretensions on the art, it sucks, but I think you might get a chuckle out of them. It might be subjective though. My coworkers like them but everyone else I have shown them to thinks they are merely cute. So if you don't get them don't worry. soon people soon . pray that i can write today. Daphne |