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missing tenderness and getting lonely oy it's morning again and I still have no internet. talked to Jewboy though and he confirmed that although he has his it is rather unpredicatable in its need to crash. greaaat. my plan is to phone Comcast tomorrow and yell at them highly for cutting me off for four days and ask someone out there to take pity on me and figure out what is really going on. God I miss internet. been getting hella lonely lately and unmotivated to do work. this usually results in my getting stoned and then cuddling or crying myself to sleep. it's sad that I keep up more with my fake friends than my real ones but I talked to spk about it last night and I am not sure, but I only think that I have like two real friends and the rest use me for something. It's sad really because I want more good friends but I also want to be detached so somehow the fake online friends seem to work. *sigh* if only we all lived closer. so other than having a bit of the internal blues I am doing all right. I loved having spk over last night and I apologize for whatever weird moodiness was going on. I miss having someone to be silly with though and cuddle. I fear that I am getting into a conservative backlash at times though because I really just miss tenderness in my life and the separation is catching up with me. not that I don't like sex or that I don't fantasize aout swinging but I forgot how nice it was to wake up next to someone on a sunday morning and be able to make out and cuddle before breakfast. *sobby sigh* the small shit like that...oh geez look at the hormones go... i am crying again. shit...oh well, at least I have a depo to do it in, finally. I swear i will get something read tonight though. I am going out with Jewboy to see American Splendor at nine and before that I plan to at least get through the introduction. will have to work hard tomorrow and the weekend to stay on task but I can do it, I know I can. If only my internet was up I could look up the other articles Jacobsen wants me to read...damn comcast! Daphne |