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Old Love Letters and Packratism arrghhh my nose is all snotty, my PMS is hitting my digestive track, and I generally feel shitty and want to go home. well, really, I just want to go home. I don't want to come in here anymore!!! how do you adults do this for eight hours a day? I go mad! I think that I am slowly learning my work style. I went home early yesterday once my coworker got in and I amazingly got through 60 pages of reading. It was hard with the second chapter on Jack the Ripper, I did a lot of slacking on that one, but I managed to complete it just as it was starting to get too dark out to work. Sometime soon I need to find a lighting solution to the area near my bed. Once the sun sets, the one light in my apt keeps the place lit up enough to see but not enough to work. I need to either move the lamp onto the coffee table between the bed and the chair, which I don't think I have an outlet for, or find another lamp and run an extension cord. Honestly, I have no idea how to make the lighting problem go away on this one but it needs to be fixed so that I can work during the dark days of winter. Otherwise, I will have to find some other way of making things swing. Hmmm maybe I can take the laptop and go out somewhere when it gets too dark in my house. I think I will try that this summer to make sure that I can study with people around. I tend to be rather solitary in my studies... anyway, I think I got my work style down. I work best alone, as always, although groups are nice to blame mistakes on...and I work best when I can take lots of small little breaks as rewards. I also work better when I am not supervised, I think this might be because my dad watching me work always drove me nuts, and when I can do things more freely. I think that I am an independence nut and I probably won't florish well in an office environment, I really wanted to for a long time but my personality just isn't quiet and demure enough to not be expressed, I think I need to either be my own boss most of the time or work under someone who shares my goals and can deal with my personality. kind of like dating, only trickier. that's my work rant for the day. my coworker is due in at nine and the bosses won't be around today. I have a feeling though that this will be one of those longest days ever series. I hope it's not. I have a lot to read and if I could find something interesting to do I might do it. Doubt it though. It is kind of like counting down towards retirement...I am not doing shit because I only have a week left! Of course I want to be hired back into my old job or here if I must so I will be good but not productive. Yesterday was a good day though. I got through the Ripper stuff and it took a while because there weren't nice neat divisions in that section so I had to annotate while I read and I hate doing that. Got lazy and watched some TV but I finished the whole thing by nineish. So now I have tons of notes on the Ripper which I doubt I will use. It doesn't totally mesh with my project but it's interesting. I just wish that I could learn to take less notes when I don't need them but I am a notes whore so I take a lot. That and they are now starting to go in full sentences because I can type fast on the laptop...kind of weird but it works. I do know now that I am going to buy a laptop next and not a desktop. I know the risks but I want something portable that can handle internet and email. nothing much. I don't run lots of applications or play video games so I think that I should be fine. I should wait until the end of the year to get one though. Speaking of which, is there anyone out there without health insurance who can tell me how you switch doctors? I was thinking about my gyno appointment and now I got really scared because in a year I probably won't be here and I will have to see a new gyno to get birth control and I have no idea how costly that is. arghhh hopefully I will be able to get a decent job out of college and not have to worry about that but I am kind of clueless about how to go about doing it. My only other activity of the night, except talking to spk about Bishy, was working through the box of old love letters that I brought home with me. It's silly sentimental stuff that I wrote when I was 15-17 and living at home. I had a lover in Cairo that I wrote to and he to me and I saved all of his letters and trinkets. I was a very different conservative girl then and I can tell in his responses. He probably wouldn't like me now and we kept in contact for a bit on the internet but it just kind of died. It was a silly young girl thing but I am glad that I have the letters. I need to find some string though to tie them together because the rubber bands are wearing out on them and on my old paper journals as well, in addition to destroying them. I have to run to meijer's anyway if I can convince spk to help me cook something and buy pens and some household junk, should do a tampon check when I get home, so it will all work out. I didn't get through the whole pile yet, I am up to the one cassette tape he sent me, but I am working on it. I am also trying to replace the photos and things he sent me that I took out and stuffed into an album of him so that I can keep everything together. I realized that I forgot to grab his big photos while I was at my father's but I can get them again later. It's kind of funny that I want all of this old stuff but I feel that I should store it and haul it around so that it doesn't get lost in the shuffle. call me silly but I have always had the feeling that I should document my life and hold onto things so that my daughter or whomever wants to publish my life later on has enough to work from. mostly, I keep them for her though. I kind of wanted some similar relics from my family and except for some small poetry books and things they aren't forthcoming so the writing is my effort to have a legacy and give the world some comprehensive data of the past. hopefully, it will be useful or at least interesting, despite my whining. so plans for today include finishing off my book and hanging out with spk. nothing much. just hope that I can get through the work day without going mad. I am so ready for vacation you would not believe it! Daphne |