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daytime slutting and cedar point well, it's not morning today, blog readers, merely late afternoon. I couldn't write this morning or the past few days because I was so exhausted. At the moment I am on duty and taking some time off in the Ugli to do this before it becomes a mess at home. see, I am worrying about getting my reading done so I want to knock out everything else and try to read about three chapters tonight. If I can make that much I will be very proud of myself. Once again, I am worried that I am not working hard enough on my thesis because I have to go to work every day but I used to be able to during the school year. I had a bit more motivation then beccause of deadlines but now, now I worry that one 300 page book per week with complete notes isn't enough. I should be reading at least two per week with notes and not watching TV, go to the pub, have fun outside. I mean, how am I going to keep this up during classes if I can't swing it now? arrrghhh stress...and I know I shouldn't because I have a sunburn and the rest of my skin isn't too happy either so if I stress it will show. and I know that it is only June so I shouldn't worry as much...but I think that I am addicted to worry...yup, like my father I get some sort of sadistic/masochistic THING out of it so I keep doing it, and doing it, and doing it just to make myself stress out and burst all over the landscape. Damn I hope I don't turn into my big boss...he is the worst person with the addiction I have ever seen. Even though I complain on here and in my journal, I at least know that most of the drama is on my end and that I just crave reassurance, more on that in this entry later, while my big boss just seems to freak out for some random reason. nuff analysis...did anyone like that piece I left for you? Please send me some comments on it. i think that I am going to tack it up on literotica.com when i get home, and possibly, with some editing, I might get the balls to send it to a few dirty mags and see what happens. The only downside to U comps is that their keyboards suck. sorry about the more than usual errors. :) as for the weekend, it was very fun. spk and i tried and prayed that the front would move from Cedar Point sat but it didn't. We got down there and it was drizzling and cold. Nothing was running so we decided not to go in. We headed back up to Toledo to slut around during the daytime, which always feels weird to me. We hit the gloryholes but didn't find anything. everybody wanted to watch Spk and i but nobody wanted to do anything. It sucks too because I threw in about ten bucks and I don't even think that I saw any dick, besides spk's of course. He did fuck me for a bit in one of the booths and that was kind of cool but nothing to note. We decided to try and get into the Westwood again, it has been a year and a half since they threw us out, and we did. It wasn't much either but it was a bit more fun than the holes. We got pounced on by the management early on so I was too nervy to do much most of the time. I let a couple of guys eat me out, one that was rather good with both of us, and I think I sucked one guy off. Most of the guys there were in the old catagory, it was an sat afternoon, and they were pretty grabby. I had to push most of their hands off of me, sorry callused and wrinkled is NOT a turn on I found out, and let many of them know that I was not sucking their dicks because I wasn't in the mood. Frankly, spk had the only thing that qualified as meat there...everyone else seemed to be falling below that "normal" 5 inches mark. Sadly, I think that I am doomed to be a size queen...five inches sounds too small for me. I did have some fun showing off though and that was nice. I had to wear pants there because of high hopes so i wasn't able to do everything but I did ride spk in a reverse cowgirl in one of the seats...and I learned that arm rests do help pump! lol. That was pretty hot...I bounced up and down on him for awhile and let all the other guys watch and dream, which I think they did. Spk finished by having me climb up in his seat and doing me from behind, and I decided that I love that position in a chair...it hits just the right spot...while some guy, who was pretty nice, played with my breasts and didn't shove his cock in my face. :) spk came and I ate it, yummy, and we cruised an empty Club Distractions before heading home. As for Cedar Point, the day was wonderful. As I mentioned before, my face is pretty sunburnt but I kept the rest covered up with my hoodie and other shirts, I was rather bundled up. We rode almost everything there. I got caught up on Wicked Twister, Millenium Force, and Top Thrill Dragster. The park has been rearranged a bit since I was there last but it rocks as much as ever. I was glad that we went yesterday too because the lines were pretty minimal, the longest being one hour for Top Thrill. We were able to coast through many rides that people were not seeking out, such as the Mean Streak and Magnum, both of which are still fun rides. The newer stuff was also mostly a cakewalk as well because everybody needed to ride Top Thrill in the morning or just before they left, making our timing around the rides impeccable. as for new reviews, Millenium Force kicked butt. I love more traditional roller coasters (the kind without sudden electromagnetic launches) and with a huge hill and tons of speed and a long ride, I think this thing might be my fav of the new stuff...well new for me. Wicked Twister, which I rode twice, got a lot cooler with the second ride in the front car. The launch still sucks, I appreciate more anticipation building to a fall instead of a good pantscrap when the thing takes off, but going up and down the track made it very appealing because it reverses very quickly and it gains even more speed on the second thrust forward because of the magnets. So, that part was pretty nice, just waiting for the speedy takeoff always makes me scream. I am sure that with time I will get used to it. Which brings me to Top Fuel. We got through the line very quickly but the sign reading something like "Don't Panic if the ride stops before the first hill. This is normal and if this occurs we will just back the car up and start over again." made me more than a tad nervy. If you have lain the dark the last nine months, TF only has one hill and stopping about 400 ft up did not sound like fun to me, especially after I had seen two rides broken because of some idiot who kept wanting to stand up on them...thank God the cops got him at Magnum, assuming it was only one idiot, of course. So, that did not make me happy. It didn't happen though, the thing took off, went up, down, and somehow stopped. I don't remember much of it except that I hated the quick start and it went really fast, hence the blurry outline for you. last thought in my head was something like relax, it's going to start, shit! I don't think that I would be able to handle first car on that one, even though spk begged me to. We'll see next time... which brings me to reassurance...I crave it. I have discovered that recently and it bugs me too but I have decided that that is part of my personality. I am insecure of myself and I show it. I always ask Spk if he is enjoying himself, because he doesn't act all pepped like I do so I never know. I constantly seek attention and rememberances that I am loved and not just here for the haul. and it's not just Spk, I practically beg my advisor to reassure me that I am moving well enough along with my research, and pornographers that I am decent looking enough to work, which reminds me that i need to find more. So, yes maybe I do fall into the sex worker stereotype of needing attention but I guess that is just me. If people can't put up with my basic neediness I guess I will just learn to live without them...I can't change all of me at once. *sigh* long entry. only other thing to note is my still slight jealousy of men. Spk mostly, because he got like ten good mins of feeling two girls' bottoms while waiting for the Mantis to be fixed but when I try something similar I get hollared at...and I think the quote is "What the hell was that? That chick grabbed my ass!" I had an itchy hand too yesterday but after that I kept it to myself. I was too paranoid about the police there coming after me, there was one around when that chick went off, so although I wanted to bury at least my hand in a girl's soft buttocks I got nada beyond sinful longing. and that's why I am jealous of men...at least they can get away with shit like that, me and my dyky self just get yelled at. sometimes I wish that spk wouldn't draw so much attention to the young hot girls around, and I should have brought that up yesterday but it didn't bother me as much then, because sometimes I want them as much as he does and it really hurts that I can't even look or touch women without getting that look. the one where her eyes or another woman's eyes scrunch up and judge you as some sort of perverted freak for thinking the thoughts you think...I get enough of that look just being with Spk that somedays the double whammy of being with him and cruising women just hurts me from all sides. 1) I can't live up to their beauty, 2) I can't touch their beautiful selves (most of the time), 3)I can't even look at them because the looks in their eyes hurt too fucking much. Ok, kind of teary now that I figured this out, but I do garner a bit more of respect to lesbians. yea, your world does suck a bit more than I thought previously...not that that justifies all of their actions, but it does make one lonely, especially me because there are so few young single women who are beautiful and bisexual. most that are have men that won't let them play, and those that are independant enough to play are usually fairly gross butchy lessies...*sigh* ok moving off of this because i am getting superbummed now. word of advice, spk hun, lay a little low on the cruising this weekend, I can already feel the PMS rising. It's almost time for me to head back to the office. enjoy your day all... I have been hiding on pogo to play cards so if you want to chat drop me an email or call :P daphne
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